New Fall Jewelry

Love Fall Colors!

And ocean treasures, too!

Summer has ended

After a so-so summer of tending bar in Ocean City, I am in the final stretch before the hotel and bar shut down for the season. Bar patrons at this point are mostly locals, senior citizens and empty nesters. Last night's patrons were no exception.

A local, I will call him Tim, comes in near closing time (of course) and wants to partake in our $2 can beer special. To look at Tim you'd think he was some drunk street walker. Black eye, ratty clothes, thin, gaunt looking. But when he opened his mouth, pearls of wisdom came tumbling out. He spoke of elegant places in his past (Paris, the Virgin Islands), of meeting celebrities like Alice Cooper and Barbara Striesand, and showed a real sensitivity toward his fellow man. He talked of all the jobs he has held, from a corporate analyst to a car wash guy (how he met Barbara Striesand). He told of his passion for fishing - which is why he was in ratty clothes, and how he got his black eye (slipped and fell on the dock).

We were watching the news and there was a clip about racial profiling and the problems that had arisen within Baltimore City. Tim begins telling this story about working as a carpenter, in New York City, fixing up old apartments. Tim says working for this bigoted contractor was a challenge. The contractor was spouting ugly remarks about the owner of the building, who was from Iraq. "I don't think you should assume things about people based on how they look," Tim remarks. (Didn't I just do that with him?)

Later, Tim meets up with the owner of the building. The owner is complimenting Tim on his work, they exchange pleasantries and find they both like fishing. "So, how long you been in the US?" Tim asks. The owner replies he was thirteen when his parents moved to the US, in very clear, unaffected English. He added that his much of his extended family was still in Iraq and they would return for visits. Tim asks, "So what's the fishing like in Iraq?" The owner stopped and looked at Tim right in the eyes and said, "My entire life in the US has been filled with answering questions from caucasians about my father's country. How can we live like that, all the killing and bombings and how awful and hateful all Iranians are. No one has ever asked me about Iraq in a kind, non-judgmental conversation." The owner of the building hired Tim as a carpenter for the other apartments and are still fishing buddies years later.

Lesson one - don't judge people by the cover. The clothes they wear may be for a reason - like Tim - he was just out fishing.

Lesson two - don't assume racial profiling is accurate. The apartment owner considered himself American - "my father's country".

Lesson three - Being kind has it's rewards. Tim received months of good paying work from one kind comment.

Tim left every dollar he had on him at the bar. I closed the bar with another lesson in humility.

Random acts of kindness are where it's at.

Susan

Keeping your mouth shut!

Working with the public offers numerous opportunities to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Some instances are provoked by rude comments or nasty behavior. Others are merely things said that are taken the wrong way. Sometimes you can soothe the situation with apologies or explanations. Sometimes you just have to admit you are wrong. Yesterday was one of the times I was in the wrong.

An 8 year old girl was looking over my jewelry display and she saw a necklace priced at $25.00. She exclaimed loudly and with disdain, "Twenty-five dollars!" I asked her how long did she think it took me to make the necklace. I told her that the 10 hours it takes to create a cabochon was well worth $25. The girl was hurt by my response and went cowering into her mothers fold.

Rightfully, the mother returned with out her child and berated me for chastising her young daughter, continually reminding me she was only 8 years old. I was stubborn and rude and refused to apologize, even though the woman never asked that of me.

I wish I could apologize to them. The mom said I was insecure. I think she was right. I was wrong. In retrospect, I should have made a joke of the child's response, or just kept my mouth shut.

Even at 52, a person has lessons to learn.

Getting rich a dozen dollars at a time

This summer's bar tending gig has not been the best. I love the location and the staff, but I am struggling to make a living. The bar is located right on the board walk of Ocean City. It's clean, has a great view, a lovely deck out side, ice cold beer. I only lack customers. Last night I sold $125. I am sooo amazed at this.

On the upside, I had a couple get engaged in the bar. That was cool. They were very nice and generous. They felt bad for me being all alone, so they came back into the bar and played cards with me.

I am seriously considering returning to the day job. The east coast hasn't been very good to me and I am slowly getting poorer and poorer. Searching for an accounting job and looking into the market in South Dakota or Portland, OR. At least there I have friends.

Things not to tell bar tenders

Working as a bar tender you hear a lot of stuff. People tell you things that are so personal and really should be left to a therapist or man of the cloth.

This week I had a preacher tell me he was struggling with his marriage. "I love her, but. Well I have a real issue with her weight." Seriously? How can a man of God have an issue with the way his wife of 25 years looks and not be able to resolve his feelings? And why are you telling a stranger IN A BAR this information? I am so shocked by this.

I also had a 30 year old woman who was in the process of a divorce. She wanted my advice on how to handle the divorce process. She abandoned her husband and children and is ticked off that the courts awarded custody to the Dad. Really? And here you are in a bar when you are supposed to be meeting up with your daughter to develop a friendship. Then she tells me she ditched her 15 year old daughter for a day and met up with a guy she met on Craig's list to go for a motorcycle ride. Eye-yay-ya!

Then there was a couple who sat out at the pool bar all day sipping Rum Runners. They were all smiley and giggly when they left. Later, he was in the main bar alone. He and his gal had a spat. He's telling me how they were trying to have an intimate moment, when her kids interrupted them. The girlfriend/fiance gets all ticked off and takes the kids out for supper. He's in the bar hoping he's still engaged. He wasn't for long. Heard the next day that the girlfriend came in and gave him the ring back.

Then there is the 60 year old hillbilly who is in town "slutting around" and would I be interested in joining him at the hot rod car show. Maybe not.

Or the married man who I have been serving beers to for 5 years now, who tells you about an affair he had last night, while his wife was taking the kids back home.

I'm telling you, a bar is like a confessional. Unfortunately, I am not a priest and cannot absolve you of your sins. But let me pour you a beer and smile and pretend I really care.

Bottoms up!

Happy 4th!

May everyone have a grand 4th, safe and fun filled.

I am working every day, some days two jobs and still not making ends meet. I guess it will be time to quit tending bar and selling jewelry and go back to being an accountant. A regular day job once again. Not that I found that to be a way to get ahead, either. But I could at least count on a steady check. I am so tired of scraping to get by.

I am grateful that I live in a country where I can make these choices. I just wish I was one of the lucky ones with money. A trustafarian or married to a wealthy generous man. But I'm not.

I'd feel bad about writing such negative thoughts on a blog that is supposed to be generating business and communications, but no one reads this anyway! LOL!

So happy 4th. Woo Hoo!

Carole King and James Taylor

On Wednesday night I was at the Verizon Center in Washington DC, attending a concert of a lifetime.

Carole King is my all time favorite female vocalist and song writer. My "Tapestry" album is warped from over play (yes, album). I am on my second CD of the same recording. I know every word to every song. And I was still blown away at being in her presence - even from my section O, seat 8 position. Carole is not known so much as a vocalist, but renowned as a song writer. Her songs have been recorded by everyone from Blood, Sweat and Tears to the Sherill's, and of course, James Taylor. She looked great, rocked with the best of them - jumping up and down on stage and thoroughly entertaining us all. I cried during "So Far Away," remembering how as a 16 year old, I yearned to be anywhere but where I was. There is a part of me that still feels that way. I cried during "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow," recalling lost loves of my life. I laughed to see the photos on the Jumbo Tron of Carole in the 70's and JT as the young strapping buck we all fell in love with. Then I cried again knowing my youth has long passed, too.

James Taylor was superb. I will admit that Carole was the reason I went to the concert and JT was an added bonus. I had no idea how much he would move me with his songs and his still strong smooth as silk voice. What a consummate performer. I have old recordings of JT and I swear his voice is getting batter with age. He may have lost his hair, but that takes nothing away from his good looks.

Watching the original band members from the 70's playing together was like watching a well oiled machine at work. They knew the signs of each other, the overlaps of leads, the changes and nuances of each other. It brought back memories from my days as a "band groupie" with an old lover of mine. I cried at the loss of those wonderful moments and the pleasure of having experienced them.

And like my youth, I wish I could hold on to that moment, stay in that moment a little bit longer. Oh, those were some special times, the 70's. Thanks Carole King and James Taylor for bringing the memories to life once more. Even for just a few hours. I was young and full of life and ideas and energy. I walked out of that concert sure I looked like I did in 1972. I've been avoiding mirrors ever since. I'd like to hold on to this feeling a little longer.

I strongly recommend seeing the concert live, on PBS or buy the CD/DVD combo. It's like a dip in the Fountain of Youth.

Peace!

Susan